Welcome to my world of stories!
I believe we all have a a story. Each human being is an intricate labyrinth, that I can't wait to know more about. I dislike small talk so much that I'd rather be quiet and just observe.
But if you tell me your story, I'm all yours. Your REAL story, your truth. Not your conditioning and your made up ideas about who you are and what you do. Not which country you were born in or what job you are doing. I want to know your story.
I grew up feeling as if there was much more than what I saw around me. I felt the whispers of faraway places calling me to come closer.
There was an inexplicable need to shed the conditioning, to go beyond those cultures and languages that were mine. I needed to go. If I stayed at home, I would have read only one page of all the amazing big book of life. Travelling was always part of my destiny.
Driven by an almost obsessive force, I set out to unveil masks, to discover what lies beneath. I wanted to rip off the layers and get to the essence. De-condition and dis-cover. To go to places where no one else had been. To surround myself with all things foreign. To stand out, to be alone, to be solo, so that I could be so far away from everything I'd grown up to know.
A few months after finishing high school and having worked to save up some money, I left. I kept coming back to work some more, to make some more money, so I could go again. I was insatiable in my need to go further and further away.
In the middle of a humid bustling city on another continent- that's where I felt as if I began. As if I began where everything I knew ended.
In Mandalay, in a busy street stall dishing up some spicy curry, surrounded by people that spoke a language foreign to me, I started feeling like myself. Or in an old colonial Portugese bar in Maputo, sitting with a notebook and a pen and a port wine in an old fashioned glass, I felt like I was finally free to be just me. And in a rickshaw traversing through the dirt in Pnomh Penh; that's where I could hear the voice of my soul speak clear and direct. In the clear Caribbean waters of Tulum, deep down, only hearing my own breath; I could finally connect to my soul and liberate myself from the conditioning I'd been covered in.
We are so pure when we are born. Then slowly, we start to understand that to receive love, we need to behave in a certain way. We understand already at a very young age that love comes with conditions. So we start to create this person that we think we need to be in order to receive love, and be accepted. Our essence gets put aside and hidden.
It's taken me half a lifetime to understand myself. To go beyond my personal conditioning. Some of my tools to get there have been writing, yoga, psychotherapy, meditation, philosophy, traveling, astrology and Human Design. But I've been extremely determined to hear those whispers of my soul, and I've been following them, despite their absolute irrational language. The goal was to be me, and live my life; not anybody else's.
Through writing my story, I finally understood myself.